Taking the Rice Purity Test with your partner is one of those things that sounds casual and ends up being surprisingly revealing. Not in a bad way — in the way that leads to two hours of conversation you weren't expecting to have, stories you've never told each other, and probably a lot of laughing. This is the complete guide to taking the test as a couple: how to do it properly, what a score gap between you actually means, and how to talk about the results without things getting weird.
How to take it together
The most important rule: take the test separately and honestly, then compare. Don't do it out loud with your partner watching over your shoulder — you'll both unconsciously adjust your answers based on each other's reactions. The test only works if you answer for yourself, privately, without considering how your partner will respond to each item.Here's the format that works best:
- Each of you opens the test on your own phone or device
- Set a timer — most people finish in 5 to 8 minutes
- Answer every question honestly. All 100.
- Write your score down before you see your partner's
- Reveal at the same time — on three, or flip your screens simultaneously
What is a typical couple's score gap?
Most couples have a score gap somewhere between 5 and 20 points. That's completely normal and reflects the simple reality that two people have different histories, different social circles growing up, and different life experiences before they met each other. A gap of less than 10 points is very common among couples who met young, grew up in similar environments, or have been together for a long time. A gap of 10 to 25 points is equally normal and often just reflects different social scenes or different ages when certain experiences happened. A gap of more than 30 points is less common but not unusual — particularly for couples with a significant age gap, or couples who grew up in very different cultural or social environments.What does a big score gap actually mean?
Here's the most honest answer: less than you might think. A large gap between your scores doesn't mean one of you is more experienced in the areas that matter to your relationship. It doesn't predict compatibility. It doesn't tell you who had a wilder past or who is more trustworthy. It just reflects two different sets of life experiences that happened before you were together. Compatibility is a complex interplay of values, communication, and mutual respect — a number on a 100-question quiz tells you very little about any of those things. What a score gap can do is open up a conversation. If your partner scored significantly lower than you, that might prompt a question you'd never thought to ask. If you scored much lower than them, it might lead to a story they've never told you. Those conversations — not the numbers themselves — are where the value is.Talking about the results without it getting weird
The number one mistake couples make after comparing scores is treating the gap as a problem to solve or explain. It isn't either of those things. Don't ask them to justify their score. "Why is yours so low?" or "What did you tick?" asked in the wrong tone turns a fun activity into an interrogation. The test is anonymous for a reason — you don't have to explain every item you ticked, and neither do they. Do use it as a conversation opener. "Yours is lower than mine — is there a story there?" asked with genuine curiosity rather than judgement is a completely different question. It invites sharing rather than demanding it. Remember the context. Everything on that list happened before your relationship, in a completely different chapter of their life. A low score doesn't say anything about who they are as your partner now. Laugh. Seriously — this is supposed to be fun. Some of the questions are absurd. Some will catch you off guard. Some will make you say "wait, that's on there?" The best couples moments with this test come from exactly that kind of reaction, not from anxiously analysing the gap.Score differences by relationship type
Based on how couples typically compare, here's what the data tends to show: New couples (together less than 1 year) — tend to have the widest gaps, simply because they haven't had as much time to learn about each other's histories. Average gap: 12–18 points. Established couples (1–5 years) — gaps narrow as people learn more about each other's pasts. Average gap: 8–14 points. Long-term couples (5+ years) — often the smallest gaps, partly because they've been through more life experiences together and partly because their social histories have more overlap. Average gap: 5–10 points. Couples with an age gap of 5+ years — the older partner almost always scores lower, simply because they've had more time to accumulate experiences. This is a reflection of age, not character.The question people are really asking
When couples Google "rice purity test for couples", they're usually asking one of two things: "My partner scored much lower than me — should I be worried?" Or: "I scored much lower than my partner — will they judge me for it?" The answer to both is no — if you're in a relationship built on honesty, communication, and genuine care for each other. A score gap reflects history, not future behaviour. The person who scored 38 isn't going to cheat on you. The person who scored 85 isn't going to be boring. Those aren't the things the test measures. What it measures is experiences. Experiences are in the past. Your relationship is in the present.Using it as an actual couples activity
If you want to make more of it than just comparing numbers, here are a few ways to turn it into a proper couples activity: Go through it question by question together. Instead of taking it separately, read each question aloud and both answer at the same time — one finger up for yes, stay still for no. You'll find out things about each other you'd never have discussed otherwise. Just agree in advance that neither of you is allowed to react badly to any answer. Retake it every year. Your scores will naturally drop over time as you have more experiences — some of them together. Taking it annually and comparing how much each of you has changed (and whether your gap has narrowed) can be a surprisingly interesting relationship ritual. Use it as a "never have I ever" alternative. Take turns picking questions from the list and asking "have you?" It's a structured, fun way to learn about each other's pasts without it feeling like an interrogation.One thing worth saying clearly
The Rice Purity Test is a 100-question list written by university students in the 1920s that has been updated sporadically ever since. It was designed as a bonding exercise, not a relationship assessment tool. It doesn't measure loyalty. It doesn't measure love. It doesn't measure whether someone is a good partner. It measures a specific, narrow set of experiences — many of which are completely irrelevant to who someone is in a relationship. Take it for fun. Laugh about the results. Use the gap to have a conversation you might not otherwise have. Then put the number away and go back to actually knowing each other — which is far more revealing than any quiz ever could be.Ready to compare scores? Take the Rice Purity Test here → — free, anonymous, and instant. Want to understand what your score means individually? Read our complete score meaning guide → or see average scores by age →.
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